The golden leaves outside are beautiful

I've finally finished applying to one University (Brown)... yay? I'm not sure how to feel, and I'm not sure if I want to get into Brown. Life would be so much easier if I stayed in New Zealand, purely because I'm familiar with the processes and everything - but easier may not be better right?
Anyhow, it is Autumn (or is it Winter? I don't know...) and the sun-ray illuminated leaves outside are gorgeous. I could stare at them for hours and yet I'm watching episodes of Gossip Girl online (what is wrong with me?)... no seriously, what's wrong with me?
This show is so superficial and yet I'm somewhat addicted to it like I'm addicted to Grey's Anatomy and House... wow, my life revolves around TV shows, it must be boring.

There's someone doing gardening across the road, I wish I could go over and help him even though I hate bugs and dirt. It would be something productive to do. Eh... on second thought, he's mowing the lawn and that's kinda boring.

Idk if I mentioned my turtles but I got two baby turtles, they're about 4cm in diameter each and they don't move very much but I presume that's because they're hibernating. My 3 shrimp are doing fine =] which means I haven't done anything wrong, a good thing because I haven't actually done anything for them.

Currently loving country music too... don't ask. It's good.

Hmm... spent Halloween at a friend's house watching old movies and then came home and ate my brother's trick-or-treat plounderings hehe. There's a party tonight but I don't think I'll go, it's just the usual group of people getting trashed and making fools of themselves.
Can't wait to get my liscence and drive to school instead of having to take the bus or getting picked up/dropped off by the parentals, it's really depressing to have to work to other people's schedules.

The painting of the girl that I did got plenty of recognition which is kinda cool, teachers and random students have come up to me telling me they love it. Makes up for the art block I'm currently going through.

No current news on the boy front, went to a movie a few weeks ago with this one guy (don't know if I've already said this or not - that's the trouble with irregular updating) anyway, he paid for the movie and drove. Made out in his car afterwards (no frission whatsoever). Barely any contact anymore. Hmm... cute boy in my bio class and another in my English class, both Jewish -sigh- our town is over-run with Jews. It's not necessarily a bad thing, just that there's only so much you can take of their snobbish ways. It's not just the Jews too, which brings me to my next point. Living here has made me so stereotypical and perhaps even racist. In a way it's because the people live up to their stereotypes but does that make stereotyping acceptable?
I hate my good qualities and flaws being attributed to my race. I'm who I am and it's not fucking because I'm Asian, thank you very much. I'm not ashamed to be asian, it's a part of who I am. But I am not smart because I'm Asian; I'm not artistically talented because I'm Asian; and just because I look Asian doesn't make it okay for people to continously point out that I am.
No one goes around pointing and going "Italian-American, Jew, Irish, British, Australian, Kiwi, Polish, Hungarian etc.", so just because we're easier to spot and distinguish, doesn't mean it's okay for people to do so.
God I'm so sick of this shit sometimes and yet I do it myself. I wish someone were here to slap me and tell me to be better than that.

Parents are with brother at some soccer parade because their team just won the state cup. Yay for him =]. Ugh... I know where my life is going and yet I feel like I don't really have direction.
I feel as if I'm in the identity foreclosure stage, where my goals and aspirations have been set and I'm on the road to meeting them but the goals and aspirations aren't mine. The problem is, I don't know if I'd be happy doing what I want and I really do not need the "I told you so" speech from my parents if it doesn't work out.
Fine arts would be a really risky industry to go into right now because of the depressed world economy... agh, whatever. I've been through this debate in my head and with my parents way too many times.

The grass that the guy is cutting across the road looks really good now.

Haha, that was such a disjointed thought.
Anyway, just going through a bit of an identity crises atm. Will get through it soon (hopefully :p).

Love, peace, and cookies.

-Lisa